Today I feel I've been rather productive, compared to my usual apalling display of two hundred words in a day, and I have finished my Language essay. I like writing essays for the simple reason that I can still concentrate if I listen to the radio, whereas if I read a book, I can't have music on because then I find it hard to concentrate. However, listening to the radio has its drawbacks, I yell at it for one and I text in for another. Or in extreme occasions I call up, like last summer when, finally bored of revising, I rang up Jo Whiley's show from the back staircase of the library and convinced them to put me on air in their quiz feature. I lost by a couple of points but it was just as well since I couldn't be on air the next day due to my exam!
This week JK and Joel are covering drivetime, so predictably I had the radio on; except they were talking about the fact that JK has been this week's Heat Torso of the Week - a fact he's rather proud of. Consequently, because I text Radio 1 anything that comes into my head, I text in telling them to stop talking about it as it was distracting me and I was trying to write an essay. Fair point I thought.
Seriously, why can't I learn? Don't text Radio 1! Half an hour later I got a call from their Broadcast Assistant*, who rather sweetly apologised for distracting me, and then spent five minutes quizing me on The Games, whether I'd prefer JK as this week's Heat Torso of the Week rather than the Ronaldo bloke [yes], One Night with Laura**, what I look for in a boyfriend and finally checking I wasn't a "crazy stalker". Just for the record, no I'm not. Finally it was established that he wanted me on their 'Your Call' feature that they'd borrowed from Scott and he was going to give me a song to request, even though that's not how it usually works. For about ten minutes after that, I couldn't concentrate to do any more work so instead rephrased one of Gilly's sentences for her dissertation, despite not knowing what it meant. Then I decided to plough on with my essay. After a while, I got a call back from the nice Broadcast Assistant checking I was still ok to go on air because "you're a great caller and I want to put you on air". I'm not sure he still thought I was a great caller after I told him I didn't want him to make me request James Blunt or Robbie Williams. Eventually at about ten to six I got another call back from the nice Broadcast Assistant checking the fifty million details he found out about me were correct and then adding the fact that I did English after I told him I'd just scrawled the name of the song he wanted me to request over my criticism for my essay. Then he put me through, changed the song he wanted me to request and put me through again. Joel asked me off air about my banner for The Games and when I told him, he repeated it and JK piped up "Aww bless you" in the background. I love that boy, dammit. They didn't have me on air for long because understandably, they were running out of time and to be fair I would have argued for quite a while that JK wasn't a failure - why he thinks he is when he came third is beyond me. After I hung up I looked at the front page of my Language criticism which was now covered with scrawled notes of songs, 'Aww bless' and doodles of stars.


*I am assuming it was their Broadcast Assistant since that is who usually deals with the phones.
**Scott Mills current feature where he holds X Factor style auditions to find his Broadcast Assistant a boyfriend, hence the giant bus reference.***
***For future reference, I want Gareth to win this because he is bloody hilarious and drunkenly told Scott Mills, at his audition, that Scott's ears looked "a lot bigger on the interweb".