"I like coming to Virgin. They give me beer."

It is at moments like this that I want to continuously quote Distant Aggravation* and feel smug, but I'll save that. Maybe for the album release. We've seen Posh Young Farmer Boy play small venues - The Bedford, Bush Hall, the weird gig that was the Marylebone Festival with the main thing I remember being Billy Bass splitting his biscuit into three and handing it out. We've seen him on huge stages recently - Fundee and Boro Live. But now we're, albeit temporarily, back to small stages. If you can even call the little area with barriers around it in Virgin Megastores, a stage. The Virgin man clearly thought so, I'm not too sure. The reason for instore gigs? Posh Young Farmer Boy released his single this week. Let's just say that again, PYFB released his single this week. Maybe I should use his proper name... Paolo Nutini's single is on the shelves, to buy. Despite the smugness, it is still weird to think that about two years ago we saw him at the Bedford and now it's not unusual to hear him on Radio 1. Or indeed Radio 2, so I'm told, via text, on regular occasions.

So once again I was at Virgin Megastores for an instore gig and signing. It soon transpired that not that many people had turned up and I hated that, as much as I hated James's Birmingham JCS press night a couple of years ago having half the front row empty. Then I moved to fill the seats, but at an instore gig, it's kinda impossible to make it look like there's more people. Even with all the cd stands that I wasn't anywhere near due to being frightened I wouldn't be able to see over them. I am hoping the fact that it was half five on a weekday and people have to work, had something to do with the little crowd.

After a while the Virgin man approached the mike, explained who everyone has come to see, because obviously we didn't know, and then announced PYFB to the "stage". And he's tiny. I think he's shrunk in two years - Corinne says maybe someone put him in the wash. Plus he emerged with a bottle of beer and wearing a Sweden t-shirt. Someone needs to explain to him that the World Cup is on. This means you do not wear any top with the name of a country on unless you really are supporting them. Plus he's Scottish, so he should then have a t-shirt emblazoned with any of the teams still in the World Cup.


And then he started singing, and I fell in love with his voice all over again, whilst noting that he shuts his eyes lots. He sang Last Request second, and during the opening lines, a noise came from outside that sounded very much like rain. I am still confused whether it was or not, but it figures. Already, I have so many memories connected to that song, one of them being the pouring rain at Boro Live. And then he moved onto These Streets explaining the story behind the song, without mumbling too much I hasten to add, and started singing. He got all of two lines into the song when he started trying not to laugh and failing miserably as the top part of the mike stand with the microphone on it slowly started falling towards him whilst he tried to follow it so that he was still singing into it. By the third line he'd given up and everyone was laughing with him whilst the lead guitar man fixed the mike stand.


Four songs in all and it was all over. PYFB had finished his beer and the Virgin man told everyone to queue to get their cd's signed. Except I hate it when they tell you to queue because where are you meant to queue? You end up queuing in between the cd stands in whatever random fashion people see to queue. They put PYFB on a table in the corner and it soon transpired that he was being sweet and spending a bit of time with people when they went up rather than it merely being like a conveyor belt - not that I would have cared, I usually ignore security at things like this anyway**. The bloke in front of me turned round and asked me if I would take a photo for him, sensing an opportunity I agreed and asked him to take one for me. And then I realised I had to go up on my own, without Corinne, and I hate doing that because I end up saying stupid things without thinking. Like telling him the whole 'I didn't know he was Scottish' anedote. But the boy gets bonus points for exclaiming, "when was that?" when I plonked down the piece of paper with the Bedford and Bush Hall photos on, before remarking, "I look tanned". I though it better not to add that he also looked like a Posh Young Farmer Boy in it. He gets more bonus points for writing either 'cheers' or 'thanks' on the cd covers and for writing 'good times' on the photos. And now I have another picture to add to the collection.




*I can still direct you to it though...
**In a nightclub in Derby a few years ago, security tried to get Corinne and I to move along. We promptly ignored security, swapped places and stayed there for a further five minutes.