What's The Frequency?

"Then there was a star danced and under that was I born" - Much Ado About Nothing

There are no stars out tonight; none that I can see anyway. I never used to notice the stars before, I mean they were always there but I never truly appreciated them til one day at camp -after I'd nearly blinded Joey with a flashlight that could "light up the whole of camp" - when I was walking back to my cabin with Gumby across the meadow. She was looking up at the stars and telling me how the meadow was one of her favourite places; I remember looking up and thinking wow; I also remember thinking out loud about walking into a tree and Gumby's response of, "don't worry, I won't let you walk into a big tree..." That was in Week 2, not even halfway through camp but it's a memory that stuck with me the whole of camp, everytime I walked through that meadow in the night and looked up at the stars. They served to comfort me when I was homesick and they were there when I was angry. They were there no matter what state of mind I was in and they will always remind me of the meadow and of Gumby for pointing them out to me. During one of our nights off, we went to the drive-in and I lay on the ground looking at the stars and then I fell asleep. The last day of camp, when Lemmy/OJ/Lemonade and I weren't in the best of moods, I lay on the bench beside the meadow looking up at the stars before I felt a presence beside me. It was Lemmy. She had fallen asleep in the meadow.
I'm always one for recreating memories, well not recreating them exactly but things happen that trigger memories and then I want to recreate the situation and just remember the memory. Last week I was watching Garden State and there's a scene in the pouring rain. This triggered a memory in my mind that I'd forgotten, I'm not sure I'd ever completely forgotten it since it was a sad memory, which I can't really recount here since it's not my place, but it reminded me of that and since then I've wanted to just go stand out in the rain. I'm not entirely sure why but I guess just to think about the summer and about that memory. About the same time I watched Garden State I had a realisation that I have an attic window, an attic window in that it slants so if you lie under it you can see the stars and I thought how amazing it would be to sleep in my sleeping bag under that window looking up at the stars. Alas by the time I'd eventually got up to my room to go to bed, I couldn't see any stars. There never seem to be any when I look out that window. Yet when I'm walking down the street in the night, and look up, I always see lots; of course then there's no one to stop me walking into anyone, or a tree.

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